A
By: Anonymous
Date: 2023-08-20T00:33:25.752403Z
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Date: 2023-08-20T00:33:25.752403Z
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Date: 2023-08-20T05:18:27.693508Z
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Date: 2023-08-18T19:56:45.087879Z
Thats a big question to answer bc our view for ourselves doesn't match with others. Either is better or worse. I believe that if you know yourself then u can do or don't whats right or wrong. I was always proud of myself even for my mistakes or decisions that either was for my future or my personal matters. I am an introvert Sagittarius even at 37 i have those moments but I'm there whenever u need me, I'm your crying shoulder I'm ready to kill fory family and my loved ones. I will hear you i will tell you my opinion but the choise is yours. So I'm proud of me and myself bc i haven't let anything to change me. I'll always be Evi !!!! P.s DON'T ALLOW ANYONE AND ANYTHING TO CHANGE U
Date: 2023-08-20T04:10:05.371971Z
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Date: 2023-08-21T02:53:05.978963Z
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Date: 2023-08-19T04:35:33.801881Z
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Date: 2023-08-19T01:59:25.234510Z
When I achieve my goals that I have set out for myself and by others like my mentor who knows how to push me and allows me to make mistakes but is there when I need his advice. Me knowing that people who have said or even thought that I wasnt worth the time or energy to believe in are always proven wrong when I achieve my goals and they are still where they are at blamming everyone but themselves where they are. I have been around people who blame their life on the government not protecting them and giving others handouts but them when it's really about their choices in life of what they achive and don't achive. Everytime I achieve something I brag about it to myself everyday that "Hey I achieve that goal which I thought was so hard but really it was super easy so what's my next goal going to be and is it going to teach me a new skill or something new about myself that I just happen to wake up inside of me." That is how great people over come their problems and allow to improve themselves everyday. I also learn from not achieving goals that I need to find a different route to it because route a didn't work out for me but maybe route b will. Even if I fail from achieving the goal I know I try my hardest and I will be better next time I set that same goal. I also enjoy seeing the looks of my haters when they know that I'm achieving my goals and they arent because of their choices. It's all about believing in yourself and not listening to what others say about you that will make you succeed or fail. If you get the haters in your head with their negativity then they win but if you have them in your head as positive thoughts like "You wont make a million dollars in a year" instead you say "I wont make a million dollars in a year instead I will make a million dollars in 6 months." Then you have won the battle no matter what the out come is. Stay positive and use negative as the fuel for you to make your goals and so how much you have grown as a person.
Date: 2021-03-21T03:32:59.111631Z
Under the big tree, I sit, observed, sketched. I took deep breaths, feeling the warm breeze, caressing my skin, entering my body, touching my soul. Humans comes and goes, like a fish, letting the water current flows them nowhere in the sea. I sigh, closed my eyes, thinking of why I exist. A charming voice caught my attention, awaken me from my own fantasy that slowly eats my reality. She uttered, "You can't cover it up." I didn't answer or even bother to look. I closed my eyes again, tightly holding my sketch pad. This person will leave, I counted from 1 to 10 then opened my eyes, an angelic face with an eyes that sparks, pointed nose with pinkish lips, an inch away from my face, looking at me, studying me. I stiff, I couldn't move, I was hypnotized by her looks. "You can't cover it up." she repeated then stand up, walked, I gather myself, I look where she's heading, she sits behind the tree, behind me. I didn't know what to tell her, I didn't know or I just don't wanna tell or it's just there's nothing to tell. "You should live like those lady" She speaks again, I smiled, forcedly, then turned my gaze into a bunch of girls, walking and laughing. I find it different, I'm clueless, how does it feel... I'm lifeless, I know what happiness is, the meaning, definitions but I don't know what it feels, how would it feel like. I sigh, remembering my parents, picturing their faces, imagining what they look like, for when I first have seen the world, a covered being only eyes can be seen, I was welcomed by nuns, raised by them. Yes, I was an orphan and now trying to exist, I have considered myself as a corpse, died when I was a baby, for I don't know how to live this life. I, as a corpse, alive but dead in the inside, breathing but running out of life. I don't deserve this, I don't want this, I wished to give this to someone else, for someone that will fill the emptiness of this body, fill it with such serenity and bliss, that wanted to live, or even so, I will never feel, for I own this soul that forever will be a black hole. "You are lucky, many wishes to live but life's taken away from them." I smile bitterly, sigh and said "I wished I was de-" I couldn't find the word for what I'm about to say, I tried remembering but what is to remember, I don't know, I wanna panicked but for what, no one will come to be my knight. "This is just another chapter, it's not the end.", she uttered, enough for me to hear. I take deep breaths, another and another, till I feel okay but still feel the same. For a minute that feels years, and it is, I feel dumb, numb, lost... "Do you have hopes?" this person asks, "Dreams? Wishes?" I felt her moved, "And future thoughts?" she then added, now the air that kisses my skin, she's blocking it, trying to get in, closer, capturing. I can see her straight, all I can say is all she is, she's the opposite of me. She kissed my cheeks, smiled, gives me a feeling of bidding goodbye, "Wake up, you're dreaming." Opening my eyes with tears running down my cheeks, catching breath, trembling. Beside me, is my knight carefully and with a gentle touch, caressing my back, calming me. Now, I'm free, free of the chaotic thoughts, finally. Or only for a meantime.
Date: 2019-07-10T01:05:39.571687Z
Funny how certain memories of your life are burned into your brain. The look on her face...the frustration and anger..and then finally that quick smile that says everything is ok...back to normal. So we sat on the beach...missed breakfast and talked things out. She told me about her dad leaving her mom. I told her about my dad not talking to me. She told me about her love of music and I told her about the song i just wrote...it was peaceful and sweet. And we decided right then and there, we would always be friends. It was hard saying goodbye to everyone when I left for Bible College. Niki cried so hard and clung to me promising to write me every month and not to forget her. I promised that I would write as much as I could. So every quarter I would send back my grades to my Pastor and he would post them for my church to continue praying for me. And every month I got a letter from Niki. Even after I finished Bible School and started working as a Youth Pastor in another church...I would still get those letters. She told me about everything that was going on back home and I would tell her about all the exciting things God was teaching me. She always ended her letters with...When are you coming home? I just didn't have the heart to tell her I had no plans of ever going back. Until May of 1991...dad got sick and I was needed back home. I thought it would just be for a few months...man was I wrong.
Date: 2020-06-16T10:01:34.672192Z
2020 will go down as the year that finally showed capitalism doesn’t give a shit about us. My county is reopening the economy like the virus isn’t still ravaging the lives of predominantly low income people of color. White neighborhoods defy mask orders like it’s their patriotic right to refuse to be slightly inconvenienced. My unemployed family members wonder if going back to work is worth risking their lives for a paltry check because our labor is deemed “essential” but still “unskilled.” The dystopia is now for us poor folks. The dystopia is coming for those that think the virus isn’t real. And the dystopia has been here for the Black community who has finally reached their breaking point. Hope and nihilism are waging a battle within me, and I honestly don’t know who to root for.