A
By: Anonymous
Date: 2023-08-20T00:33:25.752403Z
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Date: 2023-08-20T00:33:25.752403Z
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Date: 2023-08-20T05:18:27.693508Z
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Date: 2023-08-18T19:56:45.087879Z
Thats a big question to answer bc our view for ourselves doesn't match with others. Either is better or worse. I believe that if you know yourself then u can do or don't whats right or wrong. I was always proud of myself even for my mistakes or decisions that either was for my future or my personal matters. I am an introvert Sagittarius even at 37 i have those moments but I'm there whenever u need me, I'm your crying shoulder I'm ready to kill fory family and my loved ones. I will hear you i will tell you my opinion but the choise is yours. So I'm proud of me and myself bc i haven't let anything to change me. I'll always be Evi !!!! P.s DON'T ALLOW ANYONE AND ANYTHING TO CHANGE U
Date: 2023-08-20T04:10:05.371971Z
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Date: 2023-08-21T02:53:05.978963Z
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Date: 2023-08-19T04:35:33.801881Z
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Date: 2023-08-19T01:59:25.234510Z
When I achieve my goals that I have set out for myself and by others like my mentor who knows how to push me and allows me to make mistakes but is there when I need his advice. Me knowing that people who have said or even thought that I wasnt worth the time or energy to believe in are always proven wrong when I achieve my goals and they are still where they are at blamming everyone but themselves where they are. I have been around people who blame their life on the government not protecting them and giving others handouts but them when it's really about their choices in life of what they achive and don't achive. Everytime I achieve something I brag about it to myself everyday that "Hey I achieve that goal which I thought was so hard but really it was super easy so what's my next goal going to be and is it going to teach me a new skill or something new about myself that I just happen to wake up inside of me." That is how great people over come their problems and allow to improve themselves everyday. I also learn from not achieving goals that I need to find a different route to it because route a didn't work out for me but maybe route b will. Even if I fail from achieving the goal I know I try my hardest and I will be better next time I set that same goal. I also enjoy seeing the looks of my haters when they know that I'm achieving my goals and they arent because of their choices. It's all about believing in yourself and not listening to what others say about you that will make you succeed or fail. If you get the haters in your head with their negativity then they win but if you have them in your head as positive thoughts like "You wont make a million dollars in a year" instead you say "I wont make a million dollars in a year instead I will make a million dollars in 6 months." Then you have won the battle no matter what the out come is. Stay positive and use negative as the fuel for you to make your goals and so how much you have grown as a person.
Date: 2021-05-16T12:37:57.390426Z
Work took 5 days of my week. I don’t have my favourite day. I’m not a fan of Mondays, I may say that I like No Plastic use Wednesdays, I’m excited for Fridays and Saturdays because I can drink without worrying about the next morning. While Holidays were just a bonus. There are days that you felt more hungry, more tired, angrier and happier than any other days. We’re given less than an hour to have our lunch, not to fully enjoy them but to at least energize ourselves for the next 4 hours or more. To survive the working day still standing even just physically. I know you know what I mean especially if you work in a health care system, it’s a battlefield. My senior workmate made fried rice for her son in the morning; she thoughtfully left a portion for me to have for lunch. While socially distanced, eating lunch with her, I managed to observe the weird taste of the fried rice that I’m eating. I told my senior, what ingredients she used because there’s something unfamiliar with it. · This is how we simply do Chinese fried rice: · Fry the rice by lightly browning in a pan or wok. · Stir-fry the onions, garlic, and carrots until tender. · Make a large well in the centre of the pan with the rice. · Pour in the whisked eggs and scramble until small curds form. · Soy sauce is optional but adds a savoury flavour to the rice. · Add green peas at the end to retain colour and shape. Adding more ingredients to it is optional so that I asked. While enjoying it she told me, maybe because of the onion leaves. Then I Just nodded “Maybe, maybe” but I’m not 100% agreeing with it in my mind. I also mentioned that her fried rice tastes better than those from commercial fried rice we can buy in a fast-food chain. Then, maybe after 5 minutes, she added “Ohh I almost forgot, I also added margarine to it. Then I replied, “Oh that’s it! The colour of the rice speaks for it!” That’s when I realized I finished the whole bowl maybe in just 15 minutes. That’s quick, right? I ate the fried rice with sautéed mixed vegetables fresh from my Uncle’s cooking and a piece of veggie meatball. For my drink I had, a Grande Iced coffee, delivered before lunch. Not from my usual store of choice but it’s refreshing. After maybe 30 minutes or so, my stomach started to feel weird. But it’s not the type when you are having diarrhoea. It’s more like the feeling like you’re going to vomit because the food in your stomach got denied you feel like a whirlwind of movement inside That’s when I realized, something upsets my stomach and it’s seriously a big deal for me. Because I don’t like treating my prescribed medicines or whatsoever because I’m sensitive to antibiotics. When I got to the comfort room, I felt warm inside my stomach, but my skin so cold. I’m perspiring like I’m in hell while vomiting. I puked up everything solid that I had. In just a matter of an hour, I had at least 8-10 vomit incidents just to expel everything out of my system. What I know is that, if I don’t make them all expelled from my stomach, I will never be feeling okay. The whole afternoon up to 5 pm. I just sat there in our pantry like a piece of shit, with a cup of warm water, a tablet of antacid which I didn’t what to take and a clean t-shirt to wipe my sweat. I slept for an hour. When I woke up, I’m feeling a little bit better. At first, the thing is we didn’t take the Friend Rice to be the culprit. My senior thought it’s the iced cold coffee. For me, I know within me it’s the margarine from the Fried Rice but I didn’t tell her because I’m not entirely sure. When it’s time to time- out her son called and guesses what. He also got a stomach ache from the fried rice. For me, that’s only the second time I had that kind of reaction because usually, I can catch spoiled food just by smelling it before having a bite. But because I trusted my friend I didn’t even consider it to end up that way. My senior workmate apologized so many times, I just told her that’s it is fine; she didn’t do it on purpose. I guess next time I just to be more careful. Ugh. But yeah I hated that moment. I didn’t like what it did to my body. Thank God for Gatorade.
Date: 2020-04-02T05:31:39.079517Z
We write our blood type on our tourniquets, we have it sewn on to our helmet bands, tags attatched to our boot laces, writen on our casualty collection cards located on our kit, and of course on our issued dog tags. We know how to give basic aid to each other, and carry our own pouches with basic supplies if we are ever hit. We do these things because we understand the reality of what could happen, despite us not really thinking about it until the moment it happens. Its normal to think you’re never going to be shot or killed in war, otherwise no one would go. The reality is people are going to die, usually its the people that don’t deserve it and do everything right. The men who died are the heroes of every war because often in war men have to die to win battles, someone has to go first when clearing buildings, someone had to start moving between cover to close with the enemy. Thats the reality of it all, someone has to die and that someone could be one of us not knowing that a day like tomorrow is our last day on earth, or the last day able to walk, speak or use the bathroom by ourselves. The last day we have a face, the last time we write to our families, the last time we think about what we are going to do when we leave the war and come home. We stare death in the face knowing that this patrol, this jump from a perfectly good airplane, this convoy could lead to the reality we know is there but never really acknowledge.
Date: 2025-08-01T04:28:55.266084Z
I had a dream that ground beef increased to $9.00lb, but the packages were smaller and weighed only 12oz. That's my life. Burying bodies (yesterday) and dreaming about how unaffordable 85/15 is. This is not what I had planned for my life at all. I spent years in my youth feeling overwhelming depressed so much so that I wanted die. I gritted my teeth because I knew that maybe my furture could be different, that I could maybe feel different/better. I had some very good moments over my lifetime. I had two kids! I met my wife! I really have had some wonderful times and experiences. I have also had overwhelming pain. Hasn't everyone? We're human. It's how it works. I just don't think that very many people struggle in the way that I do, to the degree I do, and for the lengths of time that I do. I am absolutely not discounting the pain that others have gone through. I know there are so many people that live with so much more pain than what I have. But honestly, this is my entry and these are my thoughts and if I want to suck up all the air in the room... well, this is my office and I can do that. I think what frustrates me right now, right at this very moment is that my life is becoming about more than psychological survival. It's no longer just about surviving this overwhelming painful illness. It's now also about putting food on the table, keeping the lights on, and trying to figure out if we should repair something that needs it. The notion that we should respect our belongings that we have worked hard for, maintaining and keeping them nice vs letting them deteriorate because there really isn't the extra money to fix something that we can get by with as is. Something as simple is re-painting the railings on the deck because the kids did a horrible job last summer makes me question if I really need to spend $35 on paint? It's only $35. That's 4lbs of 85/15 - protein for 6-8 nights or a cosmetic luxury. $35 is nothing, but $35 invested monthly for 10 years is worth about $10,000. I am feeling very defeated. I don't know what to tell my desperate 16 year old self who only wanted to feel better. There were no other hopes or dreams. Literally, there were absolutely none. My only goal was to stay alive long enough to give myself a chance to feel better. I just wanted to feel better. What do I tell her? We are closing in on the end. Assuming I hit old age, I have already lived 3/4 of my life. That conversation with my 16 year old self is not easy. She didn't really get the peace of mind she needed so badly. And now, as I am approaching my senior years, I get to tell her that in addition of yearning for a healthy mind that we'll need to add in the food and shelter concerns. So this is it. This is my story. How depressing. Asleep 11:00 / meds @ 9:15